Watch me while I bloom

i was clearing my phone memory yesterday and i came across those messages. yes i still keep them cuz they used to make me feel better and i couldnt erase them when i tried. guess its gonna take some time.

im glad to know you care

Saturday, May 30, 2009 // 2:27 AM

last day of school was memorable just the way i wanted it to be. besides the flag raising practice other things made my day. it has been so long since i last saw you and now with the holidays coming...

i wanted you to hold me a bit longer, a tiny bit would've been fine. anw thx for making my day. today was exactly what i wanted

Friday, May 29, 2009 // 6:56 AM

today, school was empty and tmr's the last day of school but no one seems to notice. either no one cares or they're too stressed out about the holiday homework. anyhow, i wanna make tmr a memorable day.

BRAVO'09 went bonkers yesterday. all i can say is i love you, you bunch of looney goof-balls

if you can see it past the bitterness and the solitude of your life, you'll see. cuz im tired of seeing you this way.

Thursday, May 28, 2009 // 6:13 AM

i cant wait for sch hols quickly come and just be over with all the homework and projects done. just thinking about the workload gives me headache. and i was thinking of slacking during the holidays..fuckkk

i dont think about it now, not anymore and just like that it was over

Tuesday, May 26, 2009 // 6:09 AM

ok i feel wrong cuz i just watched two documentaries on THAT thing you know?? the first one was on how it evolved and the other on how to do it in outerspace if we colonised the universe.can u believe they have a space suit specially desinged for tat?? what are they thinking man? 'hey we got nothing better to do lets design a garmet just in case we get horny in zero-gravity zone' like hello? shldnt you be concentrating on slowing down global warming or smth?? ok im crapping now shut up jasmine

Monday, May 25, 2009 // 6:31 AM

OMG i cant believe this crap!!!!how in the world can this happen.how can ADAM LAMBERT NOT WIN???? someone tell me why??? he's like the most memorable contestant on AI given the smoky eyes and the vocal range and all. how can he not win? oh GOD those people need hearing aid. its so frigging obvious his voice is better than kris. no offence i like kris too but just not enough to want him to win. doesnt matter i love adam. he's my idol. let's celebrate ADAM day!!

ALL HAIL THE ROCK GOD

today was kinda fun.cheering for my friends were fun.and later we went to far east plaza.haha humaira was damn bored but just being able to spend time with my pltmates were fun and worth the long bus ride

Thursday, May 21, 2009 // 5:58 AM

im so proud of myself.i didnt really expected this much.i dun care what my mum says i did my best, got my best and managed to balance other things with my academics. and i know i can do so much better. be so much more. just watch me i dont have to focus only on one thing just cause it might be the main goal YOU have for me.what if i told you i have other goals in life? what if i wanted to break away and do something crazy?

the craziest things happen when im with my pltmates.i laughed so much just now.

sometimes i wonder why i care. seeing you itself is hurting me. i dun tell it to anyone, all they know is that im obsessed, that im just fucking around. maybe im not, maybe im just a drama queen acting the part but maybe i acted wrong. maybe im crying now. maybe i just miss you

'ring ring ' goes the phone. my heart skips afew beats just to stop half dead.you dont even care

Tuesday, May 19, 2009 // 5:29 AM

tried learning 'all or nothing' on piano by memorising the keys but failed miserably how does maryam do it?? why isit that some things come so easy to some people but others have to try extra hard and can never be good enough as them. no im not just talking about piano.its the least of wad im saying. thats it im gonna just let go and stop trying so hard. i shld stick to singing out of tune in the bathroom.yup humiliation seems to be my only calling.

Sunday, May 17, 2009 // 1:27 AM

OMG BOYS OVER FLOWERSS ROCKSSS!!i never knew!! F4 is sooo cute!!!i cant really stand the girl tho so annoying ah her actions. but overall its awesom!!! i love the period after exams.no work load to worry about at all.ok i have a serious sugar craving now after watching a documentary on candies.

Saturday, May 16, 2009 // 10:52 PM

just ate a whole lot of fried oyster and a whole lot of noodles to comfort myself. i never believed in 'comfort food' until now. i have to stop myself from thinking too much.why should i shed tears over this?its so stupid.i deserve better, much better. all i do is think about you, about the platoon about her and i end up getting hurt. fuck me and my security issues. i just want these feelings to go away. i dont want to hurt not anymore.

Friday, May 15, 2009 // 7:49 AM

csp was a suck-fest as usual but hanging out with esther,dee and maryam after tat cheered me up. haha we looked like idiots standing in the rain just enjoying getting wet.esther and i did count-by-the and dee was sliding in between us.

just dance in the rain

// 5:32 AM

CTs are over but it still feel like there's no freedom.after a few months gonna have to go into mugger mode again.but lets not think of that for now. lets think about American idol. the finale is nxt week!! Adam Lambert All the way.Kris kinda rocks too but not as much as adam. so what if he's gay?? we're in the 21st century for crying out loud. open your mind to new possibilities and open your soul to different perspectives. besides he's HAWT!

Thursday, May 14, 2009 // 5:00 AM

Bright cold silver moon
Tonight alone in my room
You were here just yesterday
Slight turn of the head
Eyes down when you said
I guess I need my life to change
Seems like something's just aren't the same
What could I say?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I'll need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I stare up at the stars
I wonder just where you are
You feel a million miles away
(I wonder just where you are)
Was it something I said?
Or something I never did?
Or was I always in the way?
(Was it something I did?)
Could someone tell me what to say to just make you stay?

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
And every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again
Again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

I need a little more luck than a little bit
Cuz every time I get stuck the words won't fit
But every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by

I need a little more help than a little bit
Like the perfect one word no one's heard yet
Cuz every time that I try I get tongue tied
I need a little good luck to get me by this time

I know it feels like the end
Don't want to be here again
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

What it takes I don't care
We're gonna make it I swear
And we could help each other off the ground so we never fall down again

this song says so much, about us, about today and about what's next...Bravo'09

Wednesday, May 13, 2009 // 5:45 AM

13-5-2009 a day i'll never forget. i can never forget. not for a long long long time to come. almost everyone was crying today. i thought i wouldnt, that i was stronger but when i saw her eyes from a distance when she was huggig someone else, i couldnt help myself.i couldnt take it. im sooooo stupid i should have said smth back said something in return just to let her know, to let them know just how much they mean to me. i had it all figured out in my brain but when it was my turn i choked, choked on what to say, choked on my tears and choked on their words. those words still ring in my ear like that annoying church bell that always goes off at 12.but i just have to let you know, thanks, i never knew until now.

i love you too, ALL of you

// 4:35 AM

i take it back.. i think peter and sam is sweeter still...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009 // 6:07 AM

Bloody english project.go die ah. then no ones much of a damn help. arghh!! why cant they give us a compo exam or compre.anythings better than doing a talkshow about 'evolution' u think wad we charles darwin isit????

omg tmr gt two tests. like one isnt enough to give me head pain.

i love fighting spidersssss tony and annie's so sweet

// 5:44 AM

holy crap!! im scared of time now and the speed it travels at.two terms almost gone.fuck it. days gone by seem like a dream and the days to come will last as long as that.it had seem so far.damn where were my senses?? i cant keep up, no, i want this to last a little longer, for things to stay the same a little bit more.

just a little

hold on to people they're slipping away

Sunday, May 10, 2009 // 4:17 AM

studied twice today, three hours each. proud of myself.there's no sense on privacy in my house whatsoever.its forever noisy and in a state of controlled chaos.thank god for my mum who always "strike a balance"(note the air quotes) between my annoying sis and my irritating dad. So thank you mummy for making life bearable for me at home.HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY. i love you. i'll try to be good. i said 'try' no promises yet

// 3:45 AM

haha two posts in one night.two contradicting posts.i feel so high all of a sudden thinking, reflecting,and reading ppl's posts .cant wait for the CTs to end then i can stay back in school and waste time.for once i want to slack.but for now i'm telling myself 'jia you' cannot give up so damn easily.just two more subjects. come on aim for straight A-1,.aim high, aim for the sky for if you fall at least you'll land on the clouds.... or at least thats what they say. damn philosophers think they know everything

Thursday, May 7, 2009 // 6:26 AM

Fuck this computer lah. fuck it fuck it fuck it. like wtf is wrong with technology and me??im jinxed jinxed and i didnt even have to break my mirror or walk under a ladder. i was born jinxed dun need phisical factors or wadeva shit. damn this mother f-ing god forbidden piece of metal scrap.Bloody shit

// 6:13 AM

today was unforgettable. tmr got class phototaking god i cant wait to get out of there.screw maths and whoever invented it

im not sure wad but something was missing today

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 // 7:39 AM

fighting spiders ia the best Singaporean Drama ever.. just wanted to let you know

Tuesday, May 5, 2009 // 6:31 AM

i made my first batch of successful brownies today. 'cheers' for me.

billy joel armstrong is hawt. so is gerade way, jared leto and adam lambert. wad do they have in common? all of them have blach hair, smoky eyes and wear eyeliner. god im so tired of typical pretty boys i used to like. im so fickle minded. im gonna buy Green Day's new album when i get my allowance this month!!!

Friday, May 1, 2009 // 6:55 AM