Watch me while I bloom

i hate cedar and its whole stupid system. i dont see the point of going for useless talks that seem to chronicle around the same damn thing.i dont see why we shld have maths homework every single day. i dont understand why we have to do projects instead of normal exams.thats wad IP is for. i'd rather study my brains out than waste my time writng reflestions anyway. it so messed up but they dont even know it.screw this school

i hate my class and its people.ok maybe not all of them but some anyway.i dont even think they care. i cant wait to get out of that class. im tired of seeing you and not knowing whether to smile or just run away. i want to talk to you sort things out but i cant seem to find the place or time where there isnit a group of eyes watching.i know i started this but now im regretting it and right now i justi dont want to lose our friendship.

i dont know wads holding me back anymore. the more i think about it the more it seems like its not worth it. is there even a place for me there? maryam asked me yesterday 'why so moody?' i said i didnt want to go back home. well i lied. i didnt want to come back to school and see the same old faces, the same old places. faces that hardly care, places with lack of people who hardly do. even the people whom i care most about and whom i trust to care about me seem far away and and unable to hear me.

i just want someone to hold me now and hold me tight, whisper into my ear 'its gonna be ok'

Saturday, April 18, 2009 // 7:17 AM